Just one more chapter...
Hailey. 16. US. Aspiring writer and current fangirl. I feel like I should have more information in here...

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Tea spirit prints are now available!



sometimes people are like sunshine and sometimes people are like rainclouds but thats ok because both are important to make the flowers grow

i love you













Dildo Generator

Online 3D experiment by Ikaros Kappler which is described as a “Extrusion/Revolution Generator” ….

Created with three.js, you can alter the bezier curves and angle of the form, and is designed with 3D printing in mind (models can be exported and saved, as well as calculated weight in silicone).

Try it out for yourself (if you wish) here

the time is now

hell yeah


ah yes, the ol rolling pin dilda



it’s called the purple ramjet

which end do you start with? the answer is yours to decide

shove a vase up your ass

not even jesus could save yall motherfuckers’ souls

i call it the matterhorn

cackling just continues to get louder as I scroll through

i think this is the first time an internet community has discovered something customizable and adamantly refused to make penises


Some positives :*, fuck the ‘normals’ we better ;)


Some positives :*, fuck the ‘normals’ we better ;)

  #fuck yeah i'm adhd yo    #actually adhd  
Why is the percentage of kids diagnosed with ADHD so high in places like America, but almost 0 in places like France?

An important thing to understand about mental illness is that it’s defined in relation to the society in which the patient lives. Some cultures may regard ADHD as a personality trait, and some cultures may recognize the cluster of symptoms as being a distinct “thing”, but due to the way the society is set up it isn’t a “disorder.” For anything to qualify as a mental disorder it has to interfere significantly with your life.

I’m a good example. I sailed through high school and college without trying, earning decent grades just by paying attention to lectures and turning in reasonably good work on time. I was chronically disorganized, but thought of it as a personality trait; my thoughts are structured in a weird way and I make connections between things that others don’t see. I thought I was just weird.

Well, around 30 I entered grad school and went to a counselor because I was extremely stressed and overwhelmed, and wanted to figure out how to cope with that. Also I had some historical shit to work out. But, when I was describing my situation he suggested ADD as a possibility and referred me out for diagnosis. Sure enough, I’ve got ADD-PI, the non-hyperactive type of ADD. Although I can see it everywhere in my life up to now, it was never clearly the cause of my problems earlier on. I was able to brute force my way through school on raw intelligence and an ability to sponge up info from lectures.

That wasn’t enough for my current program, which has us taking 7 classes at once in topics ranging from “Pathology of musculoskeletal disorders” or “Clinical management of cardiopulmonary disorders” to statistical analysis & how to read an academic paper. There was one day when we started the morning learning massage techniques and ended the day with an overview of medications for diabetes. There’s no way in hell a person with undiagnosed ADD can do well without other aspects of their life going to shit.

Now, I mentioned that other societies are set up differently and the cognitive differences exhibited by an ADD-type person might have a place in that society. From what I’ve heard, France doesn’t have the expectation that everyone should get a University degree. Trade schools are an option available some time around or after High School, and are completely socially acceptable. A person with high dexterity, excellent spatial skills, but maybe little patience for things like reading and classroom lectures would be able to find a place early on where they could learn by doing, in a hands-on and active environment. In the US, though, Everyone Must Get A BA Or They’re Doomedtmso anything that stands in the way of that rises to the level of Disorder.

Also, and this is a bit of a random aside, the reason people think ADD is overdiagnosed is that the disorder has a name that sounds descriptive but is totally inaccurate. ADD isn’t a lack of attention, it’s a lack of control over attention; to complicate matters further, it’s also one of those diagnoses that has become a bucket of similar-looking issues with different root causes. Perception of time (specifically “The ability to place oneself on a timeline”), the ability to organize thoughts, the ability to remember that you decided you wanted to do something and then actually do it, any of these can be lacking for a person with ADD. There’s also a tendency towards frustration that can make a student with ADD fail a written exam, but demonstrate complete and utter mastery of the exact same material if you just have a conversation. There’s also difficulty recalling memories specifically, which combined with the poor perception of time makes self-reflection extremely difficult. There also are ADD patients for whom it’s impossible to anticipate the feeling of satisfaction you get from completing a project, which ends up looking like laziness or a lack of motivation; or it results in trying a bunch of things and putting them down when they get difficult or boring. This is only scratching the surface of the working memory deficits that, in any combination, count as ADD.

The cruelest impairment of all is that a lot of the time a person with ADD knows exactly what they’re doing wrong, and exactly what they should do differently, and nevertheless is totally incapable of implementing those changes. You know you need to stick with a schedule, for example, or keep a notebook to write everything down in, but maybe you neglect to enter something in your calendar, forget your notebook somewhere, or you ignore calendar alerts if you’re doing something else at the time (And you’re ALWAYS doing something else).

Anyway, ultimately there’s a good chance that so many people in the US are diagnosed with ADD compared to other countries because American society has begun to expect totally unrealistic levels of performance from everyone. It’s sort of a mis-application of the concept that “all men are created equal.” That simply isn’t true. It should be true under the law and with regard to rights (which I believe is an unspoken bit of context people forget about), but people are born with different strengths and weaknesses. American society, or at least the public & higher educational systems in the US, refuse to see that & truly guide students toward fields they are suited to.


(via sdsimple)

  #quotes that inspire    #adhd    #actually adhd  
ADHD is having to listen to your favorite song five times, because, even though you are singing out loud, you miss your favorite part every time.




ADHD isn’t getting distracted because there’s a purple bear walking by outside

ADHD is when focusing is one of the most draining things you do. ADHD is when your foot is tapping and it doesn’t feel right if you’re not doing something. ADHD is mixing up every sentence because your brain skips around. ADHD is when EVERYTHING is tl;dr.

Quit making ADHD seem like so much less than it is.

Weird Side Effects of ADHD


I would add “…That Nobody Really Realizes”, but that would sound too much like a Buzzfeed.

This is mainly just an extrapolation off of http://www.tickld.com/x/if-your-friends-ever-say-they-have-adhd-just-show-them-this

1. Forgetting Important Things

Usually ADHD gets press for the hyperactive part, the jumping from stimuli to stimuli, but people don’t realize how this affects other cognitive processes, like memory. It’s really hard to remember things (which is to say, things like dates, or items you need to bring, etc) when you have ADHD, because in order for something to be committed to long-term memory, you have to basically re-recall the memory several times over a long period. The typical ADHD person will often be distracted half-way through, and the likelihood of them deciding to retrieve that memory at the appropriate time is a crapshoot. Sometimes you get lucky and something situational triggers you to randomly remember you need to buy eggs, but more often than not, this carefully recorded fact goes un-accessed until the missed item or date is long-forsaken.

This also applies to conversations on occasion. Sometimes when I talk to someone, I don’t have to even have my eyes open and I’m perfectly attentive. However, very randomly, without warning, even if I’m looking at them in the face, I’ll get distracted by an internal tangent, and their voice is tuned out almost entirely and without my knowledge. Then later when they say “Hey, did you remember to do this thing I told you?” And I literally just have no recollection of them ever telling me that.

"I told you like, five hundred times!"


"Yes I did!" etc.

2. Inability to Fall Asleep

For most of my life I’ve dreaded trying to go to bed. As a child, my head would be swirling with terrors lurking in the room, and as I aged, I would often turn to darker topics, as my brain extrapolated from one depressing subject to another. This is typically referred to as “Rushing Thoughts”, and would sometimes go on for only half and hour, but at it’s worst has kept me up for hours into the night. Not that ADHD means you think about depressing things, but rather that you jump from topic to topic, and there is never EVER a moment of zen (meditation is a completely alien idea to me). So when deprived of most stimuli, the brain creates it, and especially at night this can be a breeding ground for bad thoughts. It’s 10 times easier for me to fall asleep in a well-lit room full of loud people than it is for me to sleep in a dark, quiet room. My saviors are books on tape and TV

I wouldn’t be surprised if insomnia and ADHD had a high comorbidity rate for this reason. (comorbidity = simultaneously occurring conditions)

3. Pattern Recognition

I see patterns and associations everywhere I go. Our brains are designed to see connections between things; it’s one of the reasons why humans are so smart. This is a good survival trait, so when we make a connection, there’s a little *ping* of reward (aka dopamine). ADHD is essentially having a constant dopamine craving, so while this mainly manifests in noticing novel stimuli (which is based on another human trait: curiosity), it also means that people with ADHD really like to see patterns and make connections. We’re constantly going off on crazy tangents in our heads, because everything reminds us of something else.

This sometimes means that someone with ADHD can see a connection where others can’t, and thus can solve problems more efficiently. But most of the time it just means that I think lots of people look like celebrities, and no one agrees with me.

4. Inability to do Homework (or other boring things)

Now I know that this is fairly common knowledge, but I feel like this is a side of ADHD that people have a hard time understanding because they don’t know the underlying cause.

ADHD is* a result of a lack of the neurotransmitter dopamine, which is mainly used in the reward systems, which affects the attentional system. When you notice something new, you get a small reward. When you see a pattern, you get a small reward. When someone says something nice to you, you get a small reward, etc.

Most people in the world have a sufficient amount of dopamine (which is a stimulant, hence why Ritalin is used to treat ADHD) that they feel fine doing boring tasks. Obviously it isn’t ideal, but you slog through it because you know that there’s a reward at the end (getting good grades, getting to take a break, getting paid, etc).

When you have ADHD, however, not getting lots of little dopamine bursts for an extended period of time is TREACHEROUS. Imagine that someone is pushing you towards the edge of a cliff, and every single fiber of your being is trying to push back against them. It’s not quite a physical feeling, but it nearly is. It’s this overwhelming sense of “NO I DONT WANT TO PLEASE DONT MAKE ME”. Because we need that extra push of dopamine just to feel normal. It’s not just that we get distracted during homework, or that we’re lazy. Our brains are painfully craving to be doing something, ANYTHING other than the boring work. Any distraction that happens during these tasks is just dopamine seeking behavior, rather than willfully not doing the work. I’ve tried to force myself to do things I don’t want to, and I end up staring blankly at the page, while a thousand thoughts fly through my head about everything else in my life.

It sucks.

5. Hyper-focus

However, if we find something rewarding to do, we can get really sucked into it, likely because of a state called “flow”. Look up “flow and video games” in google scholar if you want to see what I’m talking about.

Actually there are kind of two aspects of ADHD: there’s always the distraction component and a difficulty with directing attention, but there’s different manifestations of distraction.

Hyperactivity is one of them, which is the typical “oh look a bird!” kind of kids, the kids who can’t sit down, who notice a million things around them.

But there’s also hyperfocus. These tend to be the more introverted kids, the ones off in dreamland, who are constantly distracted by their internal lives. They are unable to redirect their attention once they’ve been sucked into something, rather than their attention being constantly grabbed by other things.

Obviously it’s not all one or the other in any given person, but most of the world tends to forget the hyperfocused aspect of ADHD.

Really what it comes down to is what is the most rewarding for the person who has ADHD, because whatever that thing is, they’re just going to gravitate towards that.

*my idea of what ADHD is comes from research papers** I did as an Undergrad a couple years ago, so the research could be outdated by now, but probably not.

**and obviously my anecdotal experience as someone with ADHD who grew up in a household of other people with diagnosed ADHD.

  #this is really nice    #i thought i was just a shitty person when i did all these things    #but this helps    #adhd  

How “Adderall Had Me” tweets and other displays of stimulant abuse make me feel


This is an open letter to the people who abuse adderall and other stimulant medication from a person who really has ADHD. This is how you make me feel.

(I don’t even take adderall anymore, partly because I couldn’t handle being on it when it was so abused and publicly talked about.)

1. You make me feel stupid and abnormal. “Adderall had me doing this and that” makes me sad because adderall never had me doing what it does to a normal person. It constantly reminds me of my condition and how crippling it is. Adderall had you building ten snowmen and writing a cookbook? Adderall had me MAYBE be able to finish a math worksheet. And that makes me feel pathetic.
2. You make me feel embarrassed. We were talking about how the liver processes drugs in science and two girls in front of me started snickering about adderall. “This is so embarrassing,” I thought. “I’ve been on the drugs the druggies are talking about.”
3. You make me feel exactly what I try not to be. Adderall isn’t even regarded as a medication anymore, it’s regarded as a drug. I’ve kept a clean repuation my whole life, but seeing talk about adderall makes me feel like I’m not so clean after all. That I failed at my own values and morals.
4. You make me feel angry. Angry that a legitimate medication prescribed for a serious condition is now a joke, just something that can be tossed around for laughs like it’s no big deal. And that is incredibly offensive.
5. You make me feel insignificant. You make me feel like my condition isn’t worth treating because apparently everybody else needs the same treatment I do. You make me feel like my condition is no big deal, and I am now mashed among everybody else who takes the drug. And that should NOT be the case.

This goes for other commonly abused drugs like xanax and oxycontin as well.

Dear adderall abusers: STOP, for your own health and safety. And if that’s not enough, at least stop for those of us who are prescribed the drug for legetimate reasons.

  #i never took adderall personally    #but i feel the same way    #adhd  


Bonsai Tree Houses by Takanori Aiba